


At the end of the night and a final goodbye

by emperorgowon



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, This hurt me to write, and they don't want to hurt each other anymore, but they can't be together, hard decisions must be made, kim lip and haseul love each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-16 09:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15434025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emperorgowon/pseuds/emperorgowon
Summary: Jungeun always thought a goodnight kiss and a goodbye kiss were the same things. When Haseul stumbled into her life, she realized the difference between the two.





	At the end of the night and a final goodbye

A goodnight kiss was what Haseul gave Jungeun at the end of their first date. When it happened, Jungeun’s eyes fluttered shut as Haseul’s face got closer. The kiss was painstakingly slow and hesitant. They moved their lips against each others in sync, but the fear was evident in every movement. Jungeun ignored the painful thumping of her heart and kissed her until they had to pull away for air. They could barely look at each other afterward as their faces glowed a rosy hue.

 

It got easier after that and Jungeun found herself initiating it at the end of a long night. The kisses were always long, evolving into pecks as neither of them wanted to pull away. Sometimes a goodnight kiss progressed into something that still makes Jungeun’s face scorch with embarrassment.

 

Every single time that happened, she never had to worry about giving Haseul a goodnight kiss. Instead, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, becoming completely entangled by morning, and Jungeun would be awoken with a kiss. She always preferred morning kisses because they almost always promised more, while goodnight kisses didn’t.

 

A kiss goodnight meant that they’d see each other tomorrow but it left her wanting more. On those nights, Haseul would enter her dreams, seemingly taunting her. It wasn’t uncommon for her to wake up, wanting nothing other than Haseul’s body pressed against her own.

 

She thinks that’s when their relationship began to strain.

 

                                                                                                                   ~*~

 

A goodbye kiss was what Jungeun knew she had to give Haseul before she left the country on business. Their relationship had hit a rough patch and the news was what broke them. Jungeun argued with Haseul all day, telling her she _had_ to go. Haseul exploded at first, accusing her of not caring. Jungeun was caught off guard because she _did_ care, she made sure her girlfriend knew that. Maybe Haseul was aware but she was hurt and did the only thing she knew how to do: lash out. Her harsh words cut into Jungeun like daggers and she fell silent.

 

Haseul knew she messed up, immediately trying to apologize. Pleading turned into sobbing as they clutched each other tightly, terrified to let go. But the damage had been done and they were shattered beyond repair. Somehow they came to an agreement, deciding that once Jungeun got on that plane, they’d be officially split. Jungeun didn’t want the break-up as much as Haseul didn't, although she knew it was for the best.

 

They couldn’t be together much longer unless they wanted to be miserable. They were already in enough pain, why risk creating a wound that would never heal? Jungeun didn’t want to cut herself in an attempt to salvage their damaged relationship and she didn’t want to put Haseul through anything else. False hope was the last thing they needed.

 

Needless to say, neither of them got any sleep that night.

 

                                                                                                                     ~*~

 

The trip to the airport was agonizingly quiet. Haseul wanted to say something, wanted to stop her. If she wasn’t driving, she would have been on her knees already. She was glad she wasn’t because she realized how selfish it was to consider begging Jungeun to stay. Instead of talking, she gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white and her hands ached.

 

Jungeun was about to go when Haseul kissed her. It was almost second nature when she returned it, yet she felt so numb. They clung to each other, desperately trying to transfer all their emotions through one kiss.

 

When they pulled away, their breathing was ragged and their faces were stained with tears. It was supposed to end there, as they had agreed on only one kiss as a final farewell. Jungeun completely disregarded it as she lunged forward, capturing Haseul’s lips in her own.

 

Haseul felt the remainders of her heart break. She was breaking in a way only Jungeun could have fixed. Except Jungeun wasn’t going to put her back together this time.

 

Haseul gently pushed her away and Jungeun had never felt so empty in her life. Even as she boarded the plane, she still tasted Haseul on her lips. Felt the ghost of the girl she was leaving behind. She burned their final kiss into her brain, promising she’d never forget it.

 

It was, _Don’t go, I wish I could stay, I’m sorry, I never wanted to hurt you, I still love you, Find someone better. Goodbye._

 

It was everything they had left unsaid.

**Author's Note:**

> i came up with this a couple days ago, when i couldn't sleep. i've never written angst as I'm more into (cliche) happy endings, but i hope this managed to evoke emotions from deep within you. your comments are greatly appreciated :)  
> you can find me at @allhailhyejoo on twitter


End file.
